Friday, December 09, 2011

Day 48 - Why this Kolaveri

The title of this blog was decided after such long thought. Long thought which was so long that it was longer than the longest thought I ever had. The intent was to try to come up with something really good since I am blogging after long. So long that it is longer than the longest gap between any two posts in my blog. Looking at it deeply, so deep that it is deeper than the deepest I have ever looked, I understand one thing - this long gap has made a big difference in my life. Big difference that it is bigger than the biggest difference ever in my life. I can probably say that I have changed a lot. So big a change that it is bigger………. I mean…. I hope you would understand what I am trying to convey…… I mean…. I have become so crazier that I am now crazier than the most craziest I ever was. And that is true – literally for those who know me personally :)

1273 days since I blogged. So what do I blog? Decided to blog the most trending thing with the minor hope that some of you would come back and visit my blog.

So, why this “kolaveri”? As in, why is the term kolaveri in this blog? For those of who don’t understand Tamil, kolaveri means “Which f*****g planet are you in?”. For those who don’t understand Tamil and still reading inspite of the insult, thinking that I am going to explain kolaveri - “Which f*****g planet are you in? && Go and f*****g google” If you are going to leave this blog now thinking that I am actually insulting you, for heaven’s sake please understand one thing - you are actually insulting youtube, facebook, Dhanush, IIM Bangalore and the Gujaratis – every one of them. If still it does not mean anything to you, just wait for the Oxford list of words added for the next year. And also understand that the ****’s above are dedicated to Kapil Sibal. Seriously sir - you can do it yourself.

Back to the topic. Here is the reason why this blog is named kolaveri. Inspired from the Chennai City traffic police’s advertisement on driving safe captioned Why this kolaveri?, here goes a list of things that create a kolaveri in me in increasing order of kolaveri. This list does not contain sappa matters like girlfriend suspecting you, you suspecting girlfriend, both of these, girlfriend breaking up, friend picking up girlfriend, both of these, your reportees talking behind your back, you boss talking in front of you, both of these, villain raping the heroine, hero doing the same in the next song, both of these and all similar sappa both of theses. Btw, I have not checked if sappa is googleable and an adjoint question that comes to my mind is how ponnambalam can keep on failing in raping every time – absolutely no strategy and no effort put in proper L&D. Ok - all rambling done. Now to the main matter. In increasing order of kolaveri generation (generation not as in 3G and not as in Baby boomer and not as in Star Trek)…

Sorry - this time seriously I am done with the rambling . To the main matter. In increasing order of kolaveri generation (10 being the highest) the events are -

  1. When an IT guy who can spend 500 bucks for a dinner, haggles for 10 rupees with a good auto driver. He might not actually spend it on drinks sir. Sometimes believe. Start giving rom tomorrow. You won’t feel bad at all.

  2. When the retail shop guy keeps walking behind you instead of installing a camera.

  3. Mullaiperiyar dam supporters on facebook. For all states of the matter.

  4. When you see people who fake rent receipts but have the guts to talk about the Tiharians. Shut up - Dot

  5. When someone tells you that ‘Seventh Sense’ is better than ‘Velayudham’. Really makes you think about their sixth.

  6. Sachin getting out in the nineties (both as an year and as a score - when he was our only hope then and when we are still are waiting for the 100th now)

  7. When somebody shares Rajnikanth jokes. Like youtube Hitler says - you guys have no creativity and you are simply copy cats. For reference, check Chuck Norris facts. This is excluding the guy who made Chitti carry G.One. He would have been the "God of Creativity" if Rajnikanth did not exist.

  8. Whenever Arnab Goswami talks. Whenever. Whatever. However. I am not sure about wherever though – will have to check.

  9. When the church makes you think that the God would cleanse your sins with four Hail Mary’s and two Our father in Heaven’s. When you think people can believe that. The whole concept of Confession.

  10. When the roads are filled with idiots. Signals. Horns. Horns before signals. U turns. One ways. Buses. Autos. Left turns from right. Right turns from left. A whole lot of things that happen on roads.

Please add. There are still more, lot more. I wish I can give each one of these guys 14 million hits.