Monday, December 24, 2007

Day 41 - Reservation (The Name Game)

It’s time we talk about some serious political issue in this blog. I was damn surprised when I heard that the TN Govt. is planning to pass an ordinance providing 3.5% reservation for Muslims/Christians in Educational institutions and Government jobs. I hear that this reservation falls within the 30% reservation for BCs so that we still don’t go above the 69%. Whatever!!!

With its wide & broadminded outlook to develop the state probably the Government can next look at the reservation based on Names. I mean, the names of people.

It would really be a great idea to provide reservations for people with Tamil Names (like the Entertainment Tax exemption for movies with Tamil names). We already have found out from pure Tamil movie names like ‘Kettavan’, ‘Pokkiri’ and ‘Udambu Eppadiyirukku’ that this is one of the greatest ways to improve the usage of Tamil in the State. I am serious. Would ever you ever otherwise see a Church Park babe use pure Tamil words like “Pokkiri” or probably ever hear an oxymoron in the future like “Kettavan is good da”.

Coming to the reservation scheme - this is how it would probably work - Thenmozhiyaal, Poonguzhali or Iniyaal would get a 10% reservation among whatever category they are in. For example, if Thenmozhiyaal happens to be a BC, she would get reservation under the BC-Tamil category and like wise. All BC guys with non-Tamil names would have to compete in the BC-General category.

But this raises a big question – what are non-Tamil names? How will the Government decide on non-Tamil names. A discussion that went through my mind.

1) Simplest of things first. Peter or Stephen is a non-Tamil name and would definitely not get reservation…………. Jesus Christ!!! What did I just say? How will that happen in our Government? So probably all religious names would be considered Tamil Names from now on. John, Peter and Thomas will become Tamil names since they would have been found in some 2000 years old inscription somewhere in the state. I cant think of any other reasoning for categorizing John/Peter/Thomas as Tamil names. At a later point in time we can state that “Tamil names are found in inscriptions that are 2000 years old and hence Tamil is 2000 years old).

2) We have solved the cases of Johns and even Mohammads - based on such inspirational - sorry inscriptional - proof. But what about the Murugans? Obviously Murugan is a Tamil name because Murugan is a Tamil god. But What did I just say!!! Ente Palaniyaandavaa!!! There are no Gods. So Murugan is not God and hence a non-Tamil name. But not fine – since there are lots of inscriptions on Murugan…So if point 1 has to be valid Murugan has to be included. So we will have to include Murugans and may be Iyyappans as well.

3) Let us come to the case of Kannan. Kannan as far as I know is a proper noun describing God Krishna – probably can be termed as a North Indian person since he fought that final battle in Kurukshetra instead of the vast plain lands of Cauvery. We are supposed to hate North Indians. So non-Tamil name - Kannan is. But Kannan also means “someone who has an eye” (as in Senthamaraikannan - the red lotus eyed person). Hence the decision on Kannan would purely be based on the reason behind naming the person – peyarkaaranam. No parent is now foolish to believe in God when reservation comes against religion. We are in a country where we preferred being called backward classes if it benefits us reservationally. Hence all Kannans would be eyed boys and all henceforth all Kannans would fall under the Tamil-Names category.

4) What about people like Goldman – Goldman can be seen as an English name. But isn’t it a proper noun as well? I don’t get it. Where would Goldman fall under? Would Stalin - a Russian name get reservation? Definitely Vijaykanth wouldn’t but what about Rajnikanth? Will reservation be provided to colleges like Madras Medical college - since it has not changed its name to Chennai Medical College?
Too many confusions...

Finally another important loophole- what if people change their names in the gazette to get this benefit? But that is ok. Even movie names were changed to avail this benefit and that is the whole purpose of introducing such incentives – to improve Tamil. To avoid issues in the future, people might start naming their children in Tamil. Like, instead of naming someone Williamson and Peterson(son being Inglees), we would name them “Peter petraan” or “Williamkupiranthaan”. Actualla amarnthu yosithu paarthaal Williamsonku pathilaaha Williamkupiranthaan endrazhaikkumpothu Tamil oru one secondaavathu valarhirathallavaa.

Another interesting controversial political thing I came across -
Was just hearing “June Ponaal July Kaatre” from the movie Unnale Unnale – Here is how one of the lines in the song goes – “Intha ulagathil evarumae Raamar illai”(meaning No Ram in this world). How come the BJP missed this – they should have made a big issue out of it – the bare minimum of throwing stones at theaters. It would have become another fighting point to be used in the Ramar-Sethu row. These politicians you know – are becoming less intelligent day by day.

This is what Leo da Mirci says about reservation based on caste, religion and names -

“I am being rationalistic. Very rationalistic. They say there is nothing in names, caste or religion. A bunch of fools. Who said there is nothing in names? Who said there is nothing in religions? Who said there is nothing in castes? Who said there is nothing in status? There is nothing only in nothing. Everything else they say has a different spelling. I always hated people who say that there should be no reservation. Think how unplanned train travel would be, if this happens?” - Such a clear stand point with clearly put arguments…Correct?

I just heard that “Correct” in your mind. So considering that as an agreement with what Leo da Mirci says – am ending this post.