Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Day 44 - Fun with Tears!

My friend recently cried when his marriage got into trouble. A long time since I have seen someone cry. I cry very often. Though the frequency has reduced a lot now. I cry even now - at odd times when I am stressed or when I watch a movie. But then – in the past, it was like almost for everything. At the drop of a hat (or a bat, cat or a mat - whatever) I could simply cry. I cried when I wanted to take piano classes, when I did not want to take Bharathanatyam classes or when I did not want to go to class. Or simply whenever I felt like it was too long since I cried. I have always been looked down by my friends for this reason. My dad makes fun of me every time I cry. Every time I come out of a cinema, there will be at least one friend who tells me "I don’t cry for such silly things. See (here he shows his eyes wide open)!!!" - as if he is some sort of a genius who can control his emotions as strong as the BCCI controls the ICC. I always felt like kicking these guys like a donkey. (Just for the heck of it I wanted to use the word monkey here – but then it would amount to self-racism).

I cried even while watching Lagey Raho Munna Bhai. Agreed… It is a comedy movie. So what!! I am not ashamed of it. Crying is fun. Real fun. I know. All the intelligent human beings in this world who cry a lot know this. The unfortunate lot that does not know this – makes fun of us. This blog is dedicated to all the criers in the world - who cry for each and everything.

Obviously this is how I have to start. I mean - everyone started when they entered this world. I believe that one’s soul is purified and his sins are cleansed once for all when one cries. The more you cry the purer you become. I see tears as sins and dirty thoughts from the heart flowing away from the body. I see tears as drops of guilt vapourised into thin air. I see tears as ears which could listen to our sorrow. I see tears as Parotta and Mutton Curry you get in Anjappar. John, in his writings to the people of the Earth said - “CRY, BABY CRY” (John is the Beatles guy; not the Baptist guy).

It needs a lot of effort to make the world realize the importance of tears. This world should understand what crying has to offer. Having hurt a lot by “After the movie remarks”, I feel that we should start with movies. I heard that Satyam Theaters, here in Chennai used mops to clean the hall after every show of Taare Zameen Par. We should have a lot of such good tear jerkers. On the other end of the spectrum (the Red end), we should also start making more movies like Aag which make people cry throughout the movie ruining their decision to watch a Ramgopal Varma flick. The best option would be to make a full length tragedy movie - featuring all the Meri Maas and Ammaas of the world.

In recent times, I see a lot of old aged intelligentsia daily in beaches laughing together as a group believing that they are going to live a day more if they keep laughing like this everyday. I am telling you guys(old aged)!! - you have been misled. Seriously!!! You guys should be crying out there. Get a group of friends, sit on the beach – talk about stories of how you daughter-in-law is hurting you with her words and how your son is planning to move you to an old age home. And then cry at frequent intervals. Cry with others. Everyone will have similar stories. Cry at least for half an hour daily at the beach. People will laugh at you. Don’t worry – they never cried when you were laughing there. They were laughing even then – they are just a bunch of fools who don’t understand “Crier therapy”.

Liek movies, we should change the way TV is watched as well. Instead of “Kalakka povathu yaaru” or “The Great Laughter Challenge”, we should have programs like “Azha povathu yaaru” or “The Great Crying Challenge”. You should share on TV, the saddest of stories that make the audience cry. The more you make them cry, the more their life gets pure, the more SMSs you get and the more Airtel’s revenues are. It would be really funny (I am sorry...really tragic) to watch Uma Riaz or Navjot Singh Siddhu crying as if the sky had fallen on them - even for the most tragic stories like missing tiffin boxes and students failing in their Second grade Hindi exam. Anyways, these hosts are used to it. It would be a good idea to have Mega Serial lead ladies preside over these programs. In case someone in the Studio fails to cry on hearing these stories the producres can gag them till they cry. This could even be commercially telecasted as a separated program Titled “Just for Cries: Gags”.

Every software company should have Tear Jerker sessions with all employees telling them how their jobs are at risk (just because TCS asked 500 employees to leave) so that they cry at least once a day. Variety Entertainement shows should give way to Variety Sadatainment shows in Colleges. All mobile ring tones should be changed to that old Crying baby tone – the one where the baby cries non stop.

And now coming to the last part(Ok!!! I hear it....Last but not the least). Deaths!!! Nowadays only the kith and kin bereaves on the death of a person. I say that this is stupid. We should start inviting friends, distant relatives (upto 470 kms by road) and most importantly enemies for deaths. We should book death halls and play songs like “Ponaal pogattum poda” and "Yaen piranthaai maganae" throughout the day. Everyone should sit down and narrate the saddest events that happened in their buddy, the deadie’s life. Finally someone should end the gathering by saying – “Such a good person. He always made people cry”. In this context, most importantly, people should not forget to call up music channels to wish others on their death. Be shrewd. Wishes in advance always carry more weight than belated ones.

Leo da Mirci also feels that crying is a great thing to do. But for a change he was a bit serious about it. This is what he says in his book “The Tragedy of Errors”

“Crying is the purest form of expression. Expressing one’s feelings. You cry only when you really are attached to something. Only when you really feel for it. The pure heart cries. Only the pure. That is why a baby keeps on crying - it has got the purest heart in the world. As you grow up you avoid crying - try to stop doing it. Your heart is no more pure. Only when you are old - when you realize the mistakes you made in your life, that you cant correct them anymore - you are back to crying. You heart starts searching for purity again. And you end your life with the purest heart”

Isn’t he true? And do you know the purest irony in the world invloves crying? Here it is:

“The mother's laugh when her child cries for the first time”.

So here is “Three Tears” to all criers. Go ahead and cry. Don’t worry about what others think. From now onwards, at least I wont.